Think for a second, do you say 'yes' or 'no' more often?
Do you deny, negate, refuse, and reject?
Or do you affirm, accept, allow, and support?
Most people tend towards one or the other, whatever makes them feel safer.
We can accept that not every 'no' is a bad thing and not every 'yes' is good. It's about knowing how each declaration serves you. For some, 'No' can either be a place of refuge or a defiant stand. 'Yes' can either be a form of people pleasing or an act of courage.
Unfortunately, new coaches tend to say 'NO'. A Lot.
No, I'm not ready to start coaching...
I can't start my business yet...
No, I need more practice, more training, more time...
I don't want to settle on a niche, what if I change my mind?
No, maybe I shouldn't put myself out there, not yet...
These 'No's' aren't coming from a place of confidence and security. They arise from a fear of success. A fear of the 'YES'.
This week on CLCI Live, Lisa Finck (A.C.C.), Brooke Adair Walters (M.C.P.C.), Joe McParland (M.C.L.C), and Anthony Lopez (M.C.P.C). see what saying 'yes' more often can do for us a coaches and what opportunities it brings as business owners.
5 Reasons You Should Be Saying Yes!
We aren't suggesting you become a yes-man or (gasp!) a people pleaser. But saying 'yes' opens more doors than it closes. Here's why you should stop fearing failure and success and embrace that three letter word.
Reason #1: If you believe you can, others will too.
Many new coaches think that they aren't ready to start coaching, even though they have the education that says otherwise. They mistakenly believe that waiting is the best course of action and that they need more time before jumping into the deep end.
Here's the thing...marketing essentially boils down to trust. Does the person reading your website, watching your videos, following your social media, trust you?
The only way a client is going to trust you is if you trust yourself. And the only way you are going to trust yourself is by putting yourself out there and coaching. Immediately. NOW!
Say 'yes' to your skills! Put them into practice enthusiastically!
Reason #2: 'Yes' leads to more opportunity.
Time and tide wait for no one. If you say no to opportunity, it may never come again. It may be more comfortable to play it safe, but taking risks can lead to greater rewards.
What if you aren't sure you can follow through with the opportunity? What if you've been offered to be a group coach at a Fortune 500 company and have never group-coached before?
Do you say "No, sorry, I don't have the skill set, please find someone else".
Or do you say "Hell yes I'll do it! I'm the coach for you!" and then learn how to do it later.
Say 'yes' to opportunity and 'no' to regret.
Reason #3: You learn how to improvise. "Yes and..."
'No' is definite and direct. It closes doors, slams on the breaks, and takes the wind out of any initiative or idea. It is often the default response to adversity or when you don't have all the information.
What if instead of 'no' we said "Yes, and..."
This is a common rule of thumb for improv groups and business leaders. "Yes, and..." signifies that we accept another idea without judgment and then expand it, build it up and turn it into something better.
This is a good tool to use for teaching ourselves and our clients to get out of stubborn Black & White thinking.
If you are feeling extra generous, you can use a "No, but..." to ease the harshness of a direct no.
Reason #4: 'No' is surviving, 'Yes' is thriving.
Did you know that the idea of Linguistic Determinism says that the words we habitually use actually inform our reality and determine our thought patterns?
So what are the words you habitually use? Do you want to change your habits and your state of mind? Then start saying 'Yes' more often, even if you don't mean it at first.
There is the common saying, fake it 'till you make it. You might feel like some happy-go-lucky imposter at first, always trying to stay positive and saying 'yes' to more things, but the thriving mindset comes whether you want it to or not.
Now that you've made it a point to say 'yes' to more things, now you need to make a list of things to do to put this new mindset in practice:
If you hate networking, attend more coaching groups or make a LinkedIn.
If you've been putting off your brand strategy, take a day to brainstorm ideas and start building that website.
If you've been meaning to call that client that was referred to you, take the plunge and sell yourself as the greatest coach in the world.
Basically, take the things you'd rather say 'no' to, and start doing them.
Reason #5: 'Yes' makes your 'No' even more powerful.
We have to agree, sometimes saying 'no' can be the most important tool in our verbal arsenal.
Think about it, if you're constantly saying 'no', you'll just be thought of as a stick in the mud who doesn't work well with others.
If you say 'yes' all the time, you might as well be a walking doormat, willing to let anyone have their way, no matter how bad of an idea it is.
BUT...if you are an easy-going, open minded, thriving individual who characteristically says 'yes' to opportunity and new ideas, your 'no' will be resoundingly clear. Unbroachable. Irrefutable. By learning how to say 'yes' more often we can then use the 'no' to it's full extent. It not longer becomes the default to make us feel safe, but the option that best serves our intent.
Lisa Finck, Brooke Adair Walters, Joe McParland, and Anthony Lopez!
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