Passion is one of those words that gets used like a promise. Find your passion and you’ll never work a day in your life. Follow your passion and everything will click. And then, inevitably, reality shows up: the newness wears off, the thrill dips, the routine sets in, and what used to feel electric starts to feel… normal.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Did I lose my passion?” you’re not alone. In our CLCI Live discussion, Lisa Finck (MCC), Jerome LeDuff Jr. (MCLC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), and Jen Long (PCC) explore a more honest question: what if passion isn’t meant to be a constant high, but a force you learn to steward, especially after the honeymoon phase ends?

This matters for clients as much as it does coaches. Clients often come in worried that fading excitement means they chose the wrong path, the wrong partner, or the wrong dream. Coaches can fall into a similar trap, especially when building a practice turns something meaningful into something measured: content calendars, consult calls, KPIs, and an inbox that never sleeps. If we don’t understand what passion is (and what it isn’t), we’ll begin treat a normal emotional ebb like an emergency that could derail our entire enterprise.

What Passion Actually Is (and Why It Feels So Intense)

In our live, we kept circling back to a central idea: passion isn’t just “liking something a lot.” Passion tends to feel driving, consuming, and active. It’s not only a preference, it’s often tied to identity and meaning. When it’s present, it can feel energizing and even clarifying. When it’s absent, people can experience a kind of dull suffering: boredom, restlessness, or the nagging sense that life is happening somewhere else without them.

At the same time, passion is not always comfortable. It can be thrilling, but it can also be demanding. It asks something of you. And that’s where many people get confused: when passion stops feeling easy, they assume it’s gone. But “this is hard now” and “this is wrong for me” are not the same sentence.

A useful distinction we discussed is between passion and obsession. Passion can be intense, but it usually contains pleasure and choice. Obsession tends to feel rigid, like you have to do it, even when it’s costing you your health, relationships, or peace of mind. Coaches can listen for that difference because it shapes the kind of support a client may seek: renewal and structure for passion, or boundaries and de-escalation for obsession.

Why Passion Fades (Even When You’re Doing the Right Thing)

One of the most normal reasons passion fades is also one of the least glamorous: the brain adapts. Researchers call this habituation or the hedonic treadmill, i.e. the tendency for even exciting experiences to become familiar over time. Early on, a new relationship, new hobby, or new career goal can feel vivid and high-energy. Later, the same thing can still be meaningful, but it doesn’t sparkle the way it did at the beginning.

This doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your nervous system is doing what it’s designed to do: normalize stimulus so you can function. The danger is when we interpret that normalization as failure, especially in a culture that sells constant excitement as proof you’re “aligned.”

Another reason passion fades is when it becomes a job. Turning a meaningful interest into an income stream introduces pressure, evaluation, and obligation. Even coaching, something many people enter because it feels purposeful, can start to feel heavy when the work includes marketing, admin, scheduling, follow-ups, and the emotional labor of holding space for others. It’s not that the passion disappears; it’s that it gets crowded.

And then there’s the misconception that passion should be permanent intensity. Long-term pursuits, relationships, businesses, creative work, training programs, they all naturally involve seasons. You don’t stay in the same emotional weather forever. Expecting nonstop excitement is like expecting nonstop sunrise.

The Coaching Problem: “I’m Not Passionate Anymore”

Clients rarely show up and say, “I need help with habituation.” They show up saying things like:

• “I used to love this, and now I don’t.”

• “I feel behind everyone else; maybe I chose wrong.”

• “I’m bored, so maybe I’m not meant for this.”

• “I can’t find my passion, so I can’t commit.”

A coach’s job here isn’t to convince the client to stay or to leave. It’s to slow the moment down and get precise. In our live, we emphasized how powerful it is to help clients define passion in their own words and describe what “fading” actually means. Is it less excitement, or less meaning? Is it fatigue? Is it resentment? Is it fear? Is it a lack of progress and feedback? Is it the absence of novelty?

Often, “I lost passion” is a summary statement for something more workable: “I’m tired,” “I’m under-stimulated,” “I’m lonely in this,” “I’m not seeing results,” or “I’ve been forcing this without choice.”

This is also where “fake it till you make it” can backfire. In coaching where authenticity is key, performing passion can create more disconnection. Clients tend to know when they’re trying to hype themselves into something they don’t actually want. Coaches can help clients separate “I don’t feel excited today” from “this doesn’t matter to me.”

How to Sustain Passion Without Chasing a Constant High

Sustaining passion usually means shifting from involuntary “highs” to intentional practices.

One strategy is dishabituation: creating conditions that allow you to see something familiar with fresh eyes. Sometimes this looks like taking a strategic break by creating enough distance to interrupt autopilot. Sometimes it looks like novelty: trying a new skill, changing the environment, or approaching the same goal with a different method. You’re not necessarily “getting a new painting”; you’re changing the lighting so you can actually see it again.

Another strategy is protecting the difference between maintenance and care. Many people call survival tasks “self-care,” then wonder why self-care feels like a chore. If it’s required for basic functioning, it’s maintenance. Self-care is what replenishes you, re-centers you, and restores your capacity: physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Coaches can help clients identify which is which so they don’t confuse “adulting” with “nurturing.”

For relationships, sustaining passion often means transitioning from the early thrill of novelty into deeper bonding, appreciation, and shared vision. That can include intentional affection, deliberate gratitude, and creating new goals together after the initial “goal” of getting together has been secured. The point is not to manufacture drama to feel alive again; it’s to build a connection that remains alive because it is tended.

For work, a practical approach is job crafting: adjusting tasks, standards, or meaning so the work becomes engaging again. Sometimes boredom is not a sign you should quit, it’s a sign you need a better challenge: skill balance, more feedback loops, or a clearer connection to purpose. Coaches can help clients design work in smaller units where progress is visible, which reduces the “gray fog” feeling that comes from long stretches without payoff.

Finally, we discussed the difference between harmonious passion and obsessive passion. Harmonious passion tends to be chosen freely and integrated into a balanced life. Obsessive passion tends to be driven by pressure: status, comparison, proving yourself, fear of falling behind. Coaches can help clients move toward passion that energizes rather than consumes.

Comparing Yourself More Thoughtfully When Passion Dips

When passion fades, comparison gets louder. You look around and think, “Everyone else is still excited. Everyone else is progressing. Everyone else has it figured out.” And because you can’t see other people’s boredom, doubt, or behind-the-scenes mess, you assume you’re uniquely failing.

Thoughtful comparison starts with asking better questions. Instead of, “Why am I not like them?” try:

• What part of their situation am I actually seeing: results, or the full process?

• What value do they represent that I want more of: courage, consistency, creativity, community?

• Is my lack of excitement a signal to quit, or a signal to adjust the conditions?

• Am I trying to feel passionate, or am I trying to feel approved?

Coaching helps clients treat comparison as information, not identity. Passion isn’t proven by constant intensity. It’s proven by continued contact with what matters, through action, renewal, and honest recalibration.

Passion fading doesn’t always mean it’s over. Sometimes it means it’s time to stop chasing the spark and start learning how to keep the fire.

Thank you,

Jen Long (PCC), Jerome LeDuff (MCPC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), and Lisa Finck (MCC)

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