Do you sometimes think so hard smoke comes out of your ears?

The Nightmare of Too Many Tabs

Picture two different web browsers. One of them is a single window with four tabs opened. The limit doesn’t seem to be overwhelming the browser or computer, or you. You can tell what each tab is for, nice and simple.

The other one has multiple windows and there are over fifty unidentifiable tabs. There’s this fear in the back of your mind that the browser might crash because of its workload. If it does, there’s no remembering what the other windows contained, and you barely recognized the importance of some of those tabs in the window you did see! So which image offers more peace of mind, browser 1 or browser 2?

If you’re an overthinker, then you’re a bit like that second web browser. You’ve got a high mental workload but can’t even tell all of the things you’re worrying about. And eventually, overthinking will interfere with daily activities and decision-making that are crucial to achieving long terms client goals.

Join CLCI Live as Jen Long (PCC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), Brooke Adair Walters (ACC), Jerome LeDuff (MCLC), and Lisa Finck (MCC) discuss personal experiences with overthinking, the differentiate between productive and unproductive thought processes, and present coping strategies for managing this common type of self sabotage.

While overthinking is a common human experience, it is crucial to address it constructively. We all have to practice self-compassion and seek balance in our thought processes.

Spotting Signs of Overthinking

Overthinking is often characterized by unproductive rumination and it drains mental and emotional energy, while hindering productivity and well-being. Unlike productive problem-solving which involves clarity and actionable steps, overthinking leads to stress, overwhelm, and inaction. Identifying these unproductive patterns as a coach is key to distinguishing it from helpful problem-solving.

So, what are some signs of overthinking in a client? One is difficulty concentrating. Overthinking might cause a client to struggle to stray off topic and the core issue or goal may not be keeping their attention. This can lead to a greater sense that the ‘problem’ is growing larger during the time they spend not ‘fixing’ it.

Fixating on worst case scenarios is another sign of overthinking. Thoughts can loop without interruption and without gaining anything new to add to the perspective that might start minimizing the catastrophic worst case scenario.

Needing too much reassurance from others or the coach is a tricky sign of overthinking as well. While outside help can illuminate where a thought process has been looping maladaptively, overthinkers might feel the need to always have others tell them an objective ‘correct’ answer to a complex issue. Reassurance goes from being support to being a crutch that the overthinker requires, unable to act on their own and their own independently drawn conclusions.

The result of overthinking is emotional fatigue and is entirely counterintuitive to the productivity or goals the overthinking client may set out to achieve at the start of the coaching relationship.

Coping Strategies

Personally managing overthinking involves finding personalized strategies that emphasize focusing on what you can control and practicing mindfulness. At the heart, these strategies highlight the importance of focusing on what is within one's control and practicing mindfulness.

Meditation is often cited as a good coping strategy. Guided meditation can be practiced in a group setting in a class, or done in private while following along with audio that can be found on specialized meditation apps and YouTube. Others with previous experience might meditate on their own terms. 

Like meditation, mindfulness practices are good for managing overthinking. The focus in mindfulness practices is being fully in the present. Some examples of mindfulness practices are breathing exercises, mindful movement (like walking), body scans, and more that can be done on one’s own at nearly any time. 

Creating positive constraints is another useful practice. One option is the Pomodoro Technique, which involves working for 25 minutes, then a 5-minute break, repeated four times, followed by a 15-minute break. The aim is to abide to what constraint you set. You may want to keep working when time runs out, you may think I’m right there, I’m almost to the right decision, but it doesn’t matter! Techniques like this create more accountability to our positive constraints and that in turn will actually make it less likely choices will take as long. Agonizing over choices and overthinking to find the best one is counter-intuitive.

But both meditation and mindfulness exercises do have a caveat instead of being an easy, quick cure-all. They require consistent practice to be effective. 

Another coping strategy is rest. Rest is a productive choice, but overthinking can make it stressful too. It’s important to avoid shame over periods of inactivity and remind that overthinking brain that rest might just be the most productive use of activity that can be taken at the moment. 

Alice Boyes, PhD, researches and writes about anxiety, overthinking, and how to manage both. One of the strategies Boyes suggests is managing overthinking by organizing thoughts as if putting extras in a 'suitcase' to limit mental noise without discarding them. Another suggestion is to approach new things without the intention to optimize it on the first try. It’s better to push ahead and actually start on a task than to worry and overthink how best to start it in order to get the perfect outcome. 

Another important strategy is self-reflection, especially on the benefits of both impulsive and well thought out decisions. Boyes writes that “Sometimes good decisions are the result of exhaustive research and accurate perceptions, but not always.” There’s no guarantee overthinking first will lead to the best decision. 

Boyes advises overthinkers to not feel ashamed for overthinking. Overthinking can be “both an important strength and a frustrating weakness.” At the end of self reflection, come back to this idea:

A different Psychology Today article recommends a few other shopping strategies. One is the idea of “satisficing”, or prioritizing the “good enough” solution. This doesn’t mean to accept something subpar. It just means to focus on a solution that meets the key needs rather than overthinking to try to find a “perfect”, “maximized” solution. Rather than ‘maximizers’ finding solutions that meet the key needs and go above and beyond them to be the best solution possible, the article actually finds these overthinkers are less likely to feel happy with the results of their decision. Finally, there is the simple strategy of listening to your gut. 

Whether someone chooses some of these strategies and then commits to doing them, or they tell another what they plan to do and commit to be accountable that way, your odds of going through with the plan increase.

Coaching Moments and the Computer Metaphor

Coaches ought not to tell a client they think they’re an overthinker from the get-go.. In fact, coaches should try to avoid labeling or judging a client prior to hearing a clients version of themselves and their own characterization. Should the client call themselves an "overthinker" or divulge certain information that are signs of overthinking, the coach needs to consider how to first create a safe, nonjudgmental space for clients to discuss their thoughts without labeling those thought processes negatively. Since life coaching is client-led, what can coaches do?

If you think you’ve identified a pattern of overthinking from your client, don’t just up and accuse them of worrying too much. Instead, ask open ended questions to help the client explore their feelings. The more self reflection that occurs when answering open ended questions, the better they can identify what, to them, are the key needs in a given situation. All the ‘extra tabs’, those excess noise and worries, open in their thought process could start being closed naturally, and by the client. By helping support clients in this process, they are more likely to remember the steps they took to explore themselves and reduce their overthinking on a specific issue- and the more likely they are to implement the same approaches on their own.

Overthinking clients may also benefit from reframing their clutter of thoughts into a reduced line of actionable questions that focus on what they can control. Instead of being overwhelming and draining, overthinking can be pruned down into productive problem solving.

Overthinking can occur in both negative and positive directions, and it’s important to ask what may be emotionally under the surface. Clients need to explore and find the main underlying issues that make overthinking a pattern in all kinds of unrelated areas of their life. Your job isn’t to make them stop, or fix, their overthinking. Instead, in the coach-client partnership, be supportive and collaboratively ask thought-provoking questions that help them discover personally effective approaches.

Let’s use the web browser image one more time. Which of these two options is more effective when you find someone struggling with managing anxiety over how many tabs they have open: Taking the computer away and closing all windows yourself, to give them back a blank slate that they don’t need to feel anxiety over? Or supporting them while they figure out their own personal happy place amount of tabs, commit to closing the rest, bookmarking those they may want later but don’t need to be worrying about now and stop not with a blank slate but the exact level of minimal browser clutter that is personally best for them?

Don’t overthink the question. Not all things in life need to be secretly complicated.

Thank you,

Jen Long (PCC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), Brooke Adair Walters (ACC), Jerome LeDuff (MCLC), and Lisa Finck (MCC)

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