Coaches, is it better to be feared than loved?
Hiding Darkness
Remember when you first heard about coaching?
Was it through a television interview? An advertisement? A show? Did it ever appear to be something just disguising itself as another profession, or, worse, some sneaky form of pyramid scheme? There are, unfortunately, plenty of ‘coaches’ out there that give coaching a bad name. Some are only after fame. Some could set up systems that pull in more coaches that are sent to recruit more, all coaching one another while the one on top rakes in the money from each. Some might lie about how successful coaching made them, when in reality their financial comforts came from other jobs beforehand. TV appearances can boost these ‘coaches’ revenue and spotlight, but they also reveal a dark that’s potentially hiding in members of any kind of profession: the Machiavellian.
Machiavellianism (not a dig at the man its named after) is accompanied by selfishness, interpersonal manipulation, cynicism, deceitfulness, and “a tendency to see other people as means to an end.” They scheme and manipulate, but it is not some obvious action taken by a blatant villain rubbing their hands together and cackling; those with Machiavellian can be charming and calm and understand how to use people in order to best serve their end goal.
This week, join CLCI Live as Jen Long (ACC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), Jerome LeDuff (MCPC), Lisa Finck (MCC) and Brooke Adair Walters (ACC) discuss Machiavellianism, what it can do, and how to spot its traits.
What Is a Machiavellian?
The concept of Machiavellianism goes back to the book Il Principe from 1532. Written by Niccolò Machiavelli, from which the concept earns its name, Machiavellianism, and was introduced as a political theory. It remains discussed in the political and business spheres, but has also become well known through the “Dark Triad” of personality theorists. There, Machiavellianism is joined by psychopathy and narcissism, where they overlap with each other while still remaining distinct and capable of standing on their own. Each is marked with low empathy for others.
Yet Machiavellianism isn’t a hard and fast evil. It can lead to results in business, politics, and leadership that do benefit the people and teams surrounding the individual. But ultimately, someone who is Machiavellian doesn’t care what greater good they might have caused. It all comes down to what benefits the one person. Anything else is a side effect.
Machiavellian traits might not be an issue on their own, but being aware of them can help people identify when someone else in their life is giving them something shallow rather than sincerely supporting them. They might help someone self-reflect as well. And, in this space, the question comes down to whether these traits have any place in the coaching seat.
Having a Machiavellian client means there is going to need to be a lot of reflection, from you, from them, and from the partnership. So long as they are not planning anything illegal or unethical to you the coach, the relationship can still work out.
Now, having a Machiavellian coach? That might be just as tricky to navigate. But as a starting point, how might you even recognize it?
Aspects of Machiavellianism in Application
One trait of Machiavellism is focusing only on your own goals and interests, and doing, manipulating, anything and anyone to reach those ends.
In turn, a Machiavellian coach’s goals could be financial, status, fame, or more, and they might reach it by promoting their business in a dishonest manner, lying about what coaching is and what makes them qualified, and more. Just by making their business the best that it can be, they succeed in this goal- and that can mean they are running a genuinely effective coaching business because they found it to be the best path to success. In that case, their intentions are self-motivated and focused on their end goals. But it does not necessarily prevent their clientele from having benefited.
It’s best to take it in on a case by case basis. If your coach who displays Machiavellian is helping you and is genuinely treating the relationship as a partnership, then there needs to be a change. But the coach and client should be co-creating their relationship, and that means that the client has to matter. They’re not just another step that must be taken to reach an end goal.
Likewise, a coach can’t just only think about their client's spoken goals and be in a rush to see them met. It’s a person being coached, not a problem. Not merely a goal. The International Coaching Federation highlights how important it is to be oriented towards the person as well as their goals. While their core competencies explain that coaches will help develop goals with the client, they also need to acknowledge and support client autonomy related to those goals. Just like complete goal orientation for the Machiavellian limits personal experience and depth, it makes for shallow coaching when the client as a person is not being partnered with.
Another area of Machiavellianism that contradicts with these core competencies is the tendency towards manipulation and deceit. This raises a question: if you, as a coach, disagree with something the client is doing or finds acceptable as a person that you do not, is keeping that to yourself a deceit?
Not really. A coach should establish from day one that they won’t be giving their opinions and telling the client what to do. However, the ICF maintains core values which lay out their ethical principles and standpoints. Coaches shouldn’t be involved in what is illegal and, when they are uncomfortable with their client, they should refer out and terminate the relationship. This avoids a serious question of deceit by omission altogether.
A third trait to consider is that Machiavellians will be charming and use flattery to their advantage. Is this a problem for coaches? Should a coach be stone-cold? No. The most effective coaches and clients are comfortable with one another and form a rapport together. However, this rapport and comfort has to be fully authentic. There’s no place for buttering clients up. Machiavellian manipulation is hardly appropriate. Coaching isn’t about complimenting clients.
Finally, it’s what lays behind any of these traits or more that matters most: the intentions. Something may have good or bad results. Something may benefit a team or hurt it. But a Machiavellian intention is always going to be about themselves, no matter what effect may come. Machiavellianism as a philosophy and a political mindset says to do whatever it takes to reach a goal; Machiavellians don’t care about others and if they are hurt. The band-aids, advice, and placation that a Machiavellian coach might give you may feel good at the moment, but be little more than a shallow distraction and far from a cure.
Competencies, Ethics, and Tips To Counter Getting A Machiavellian Coach
As a final note, there is one theme repeated throughout this that perhaps holds an answer: Machiavellian traits and actions that are counter to the ICF’s standards are the ones most likely to come from a problematic coach. The client deserve respect, autonomy and support, whatever walks of life we come from. There is no reason to settle for a coaching relationship that either doesn’t help us or ends up hurting us.
So what can we do to avoid one? Look at those ICF standards. Hold your coach up to them. Check what sort of training the coach has and if it was ICF accredited. If they hold an ICF credential, all the better. The ICF’s ethical standards are there for a reason. Their core competencies make sure that coaching as a profession is held to appropriate standards, rather than a word that just anyone can say they do. So-called coaches that can’t meet that code of ethics and those core competencies may be well-intentioned…but they very well may not be.
Thank you,
Jen Long (ACC), Anthony Lopez (MCPC), Jerome LeDuff (MCPC), Lisa Finck (MCC) and Brooke Adair Walters (ACC)!
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